Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
