why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
