i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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