I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I want to be your penis for a week.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
