i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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