I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
