your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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