life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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