Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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