So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
