1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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