real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
