Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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