Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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