If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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