it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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