Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
