It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
