My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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