Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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