i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
