"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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