She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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