he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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