I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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