S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize