Is it normal to miss your booty call?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
