Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My vagina just clenched in fear
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
