Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just want nice things and good sex
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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