They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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