White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
