Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
