I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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