if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I puked a lego.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
