guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
