Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
