If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
