Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
