how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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