omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
babies were throwing up all over the place
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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