umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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