1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
