It's Friday. Sex?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
