margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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