Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
