I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize