my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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