we're blogging at a bar
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
