well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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