Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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