Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
