New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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