her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
as a side note pls kill me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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