puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
