i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
