dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
