the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
