just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
